I was never so happy than when I was playing sports

I've never been able to duplicate the feeling of those hockey games in my basement, the football games at the Oval, the basketball games at the Oval or at youth group, or just throwing a ball around.  I've always resented CP for robbing me of my true athletic prowess.  I mean, my dad was pretty good in high school, my uncle had a tryout with the Mets in the late 60s, and my grandfather played baseball as well.  I was supposed to be an athlete too.  God, I wanted it so bad, but the CP never went away enough for me to play any kind of competitive sports at a high level.  I was stubborn like that, and I could have rode the bench and been a scrub but that wasn't how I was wired then.  It still isn't, really.  I truly believe I was born to excel, to give more, to love fiercely, and to feel more deeply.  I still remember the best thing my dad has ever said to me.  It was shortly before my grandfather passed away that I had a ceremony at school to be inducted into the National Honor Society -- there's a picture of me with my grandparents before the ceremony at the house less than two weeks before Grandpa died.  It is a treasured picture.  Anyway, after the ceremony, my father said to me without any prompting of any sort, "I was prouder of you today than if you scored five touchdowns in any football game."   I don't know if he knows or knew what that meant to me, but thinking of that moment lifts my spirits even to this day.  Still, there's some bitterness towards the CP for robbing me of something greater.  At least, I'm confronting the feelings about CP though.